When I had LO, this pastime became part of my past. Somehow that oxytocin (the "love" hormone that bonds you to your baby) came in doses that I was not prepared for. I only had eyes (and ears) for her. I never tired of looking at her. If she was in the presence of other humans, they took on the form of an outline, a shadow almost. I just couldn't help it. This is how motherhood hit me...like a bus full of trannies.
Now that LO is (slightly) more independent - she still follows me to the bathroom and never fails to ask (even in public restrooms!) if I'm going POO or PEE - and can entertain herself anywhere from 8-13 minutes at at time, I see all that I've been missing. At the coffee shop the other day, she sat enjoying her chocolate milk and cookie (it was treat day for both us, my decaffeinated pregnant body begged for a latte) while I actually looked up...at the world. It was fascinating! There was so much to see. The old handsome man at the corner table reminded me so much of my Grandpa, with his gold watch and "guayabera." The Goth Girl barista was flirting relentlessly with her Jock Boy coworker. A dog took a serious dump beside the outside table of his owner. He embarrassedly struggled to clean it up before anybody noticed. But I did! I noticed because I had a few moments to engage with the outside world. The world where people are quiet, relaxed and not throwing pebbles at each other (like a scene we had just witnessed at the park).
When you have little kids, you just miss everything. Or at least 98% of everything. You are more concerned if your toddler is going to bolt out into the street than if the clouds look like they'll bring rain. At the grocery store, while picking out oranges, you must keep an eye that your tot doesn't pick one from the bottom and that the entire triangle sculpture doesn't come tumbling down. Say goodbye to scanning a tabloid in the checkout line because you're more than likely keeping your kid's hands off the M&M's that are so conveniently placed right at her eye line. Then you'll spend the rest of your time in line explaining that it's not time for candy because it's 9 in the morning. Over and over again. Unless your kid just has a tantrum, in which case you will move on to other tactics...distraction, whispering threats (only if your kid is old enough to care) or just buying the dang candy to make it stop (I don't recommend this tactic or you'll be buying M&M's every time you buy milk or anything for that matter. Why does Lowe's have candy displayed at the checkout!?! Cruel.)
Nature is a calculating, conniving force with altruistic motives. Nature wants us to care for our young and keep them out of harm's way to insure mankind's propagation. It blinds you with this love potion that forces you to become an obsessive, possessive psycho. Brilliantly it does it in such a way that you don't even realize it. You think you're normal, that you're unchanged. Not true. It's just Nature pulling one over on you, on all of us.
So if you ask a mother of young tots, "Did you see that??" Chances are she'll say "What?" Unless her kid has a giant chocolate chip cookie in her little hands. Take that, Nature! We too have tricks up our sleeves - Dora, Yo Gabba Gabba, Ipad's and cookies. And I will not feel guilty. Those minutes are precious. As are the other 1,276,2093 minutes you spend eyeing your offspring.
