You're able to nurse and cook at the same time while singing "Skidamarink" with your other kid.
You can one-handedly dismantle the stroller while holding your other kid's hoodie so that she doesn't dart into the parking lot.
The sound of the baby crying doesn't illicit you to immediately STOP what you're doing and dash to pick her up. You take a beat....or a few sometimes. (Especially when you're in the middle of a delightful task such as wiping your other child's butt.)
You can give your baby a bath while helping your other child bathe her baby doll.
You can talk on the phone (on speaker), hold the baby, and play a game of catch.
You can be rocking the baby to sleep and reading "Green Eggs and Ham" to the other child who has a ridiculously oversized tutu on that practically swallows up the baby.
You let your preschooler drive the shopping cart while you try to remember what you came to the store for. She then crashes into a display of greeting cards and knocks it over. But the baby goes unharmed...close one!
You accidentally shoplift a gallon of milk which you put on the bottom of the cart and forgot about. Sprouts, I owe you $3.89.
You can fall asleep anytime, anywhere. Including the bathroom...not that that has EVER happened to me.
You don't change the diaper at the first sign of pee. You wait until she goes #2.
You and baby both eat while reading a magazine or checking Facebook.
You can successfully change a diaper without taking the baby's socks off. I used to always take LO's socks off because she'd inevitably squash her heels into the poop. I OWN this diapering business now. I can even do it in the dark. Which is the only action happening in the dark, ya know??! But that's another story...
You let your newborn watch TV. I never even had the TV on when LO was a baby. ML is a huge fan of Downton Abbey. We both shed tears when Crawley died in that car accident.
You do one load of laundry everyday. Minimum.
You don't boil the pacifiers daily. Or ever.
Your idea of alone time is that rare, long, luxurious 8 minute shower. You might even exfoliate!
Most of your sentences begin with : "CAREFUL"...
"Don't tip sister's car seat over."
"Get that stick out of sister's ear."
"You can't swing with sister on her baby swing."
"No, sister can't eat goldfish."
"We don't throw balls near sister."
It's a true miracle ML has survived these 6 weeks. And not only is she surviving, she's thriving! She's putting on weight like a champ and does all that is expected of her. Eat, pee poop, sleep, cry. Repeat.
And despite LO's constant shenanigans, she's such a proud and sweet big sister. She has adjusted beautifully and is, for the most part, a great little helper.
I suppose we're all thriving! As long as I don't shoplift again and end up in the slammer.
