The Beginning

It happened a few weeks ago. P (the lovely husband) and I were finishing our dinner while LO (the awesome 21 month-old-daughter) was watching her allotted 30 minutes of TV when she unglued her eyes off of Dora and glued them onto my chicken thigh. Although my legs do resemble that of a chicken's, I am actually talking about the lemon chicken I cooked for dinner.

She bolted over and screamed "ITO, ITO" meaning "pollito" as in little chicken in Spanish. We speak English and Spanish to LO which makes broken toddler Spanglish the primary language of the household.

How could she possibly still be hungry? She had already eaten her dinner followed by two heaping bowls of yogurt with berries. LO can out-eat most grown men.

I dug my fingers and dissected what was left of the poor thigh. She scarfed down each tiny string of chicken I lay in her hand. It was like "A Christmas Carol" where Tiny Tim cuts apart one bean with his knife (that kills me every time!)  She stood there waiting as I continued my futile attempt to get more out of that chick. I even offered some potatoes knowing she hates them.

"Mama, ITO!" she wailed. Crap. I chastised myself. Why didn't I make more? I vowed to make enough for a family of ten from now on.

"I-T-O, peeeze," She meant business using the "nice words." I had to think quick. So I said what any exemplary mom would say..."how about a cookie?"

She happily returned to her Tinkerbell chair, cookie in hand, and I happily returned to my glass of Rose'. I was quite pleased with myself. Crisis averted. And then just as I was relaxing into my chair...it hit me.

How ridiculous was this scene? Here my child is begging for nutritious food and instead I give her a cookie and distract her with TV so that I can finish my wine in peace.
"Mama of the Freaking Year," I blurted out to P.

So here I am sharing the first MOTY (Mama of the Year) moment with you. I wish I could say that these moments are few and far in between, but I have been scrutinizing my mothering since this first "incident" only to realize that there are many. I just hadn't paid much attention before.

Let me introduce myself. I am Jen: a former career woman, former cat owner, former reader, former movie theater attendee. I traded all that in to be a mama. The career was put on hold so I could be with LO. The cat got left at my mom's because she's psycho and hisses at LO. The books have been replaced by bad reality TV. And well, for as many mistakes as I do manage to make, I will not be "that" mom who takes her screaming child to the theatre. Therefore, no movies.

It has been 2 years, 6 months, 21 days and 6 wonderful hours (give or take) since Motherhood kicked in. In my experience, it started with that pregnancy test. I became wired differently. I sought out books, websites, magazines, other mothers. I honed in on anything and everything "baby." I was going to be prepared and be the picture of a calm and collected mom.

Here's the thing, once you get the hang of something, it all changes and those finessed skills are worth jack smack. For example, once you master the "football" hold, your nursing days are history. After you spend days Googling homemade baby food, they're on to steak and potatoes. You learn to tolerate (ok, love) Yo Gabba Gabba and now all she'll watch is Dora. I finally felt competent with a baby and now I have a toddler. You can't keep up. Or maybe that's all you can do: keep up. You'll never be ahead. At least I never seem to be.

So here I am bracing myself for the marathon of Motherhood. Because what I have learned is that you never stop learning.

Adios. Until next time...

Side Note: The Lemon Chicken recipe that is responsible for this whole fiasco can be found in the July issue of Bon Appetit.