Sorry

Dear ML,

I am writing my most sincere apology to you today just days before your first birthday.  You have been duped.  I told you when you were in my belly that I would pay as much attention to you as I had to
your sister.  In short, I promised to be the same kind of mother I was to your older sis LO.  But I have not made good on that promise.  I am a radically different kind of mother and I hope you forgive me.

There is no use trying to hide it so I am coming clean early in the game.  You will see the pictures from your sister's first birthday and be upset.  Yes, we went all out.  Yes, that was a hand-painted Halloween backdrop your dad made for guests to take pictures in front of.  Yes, we were all dressed up in costumes.  And yes, what you know as your "non-crafty" mom did make those cat-shaped carved pumpkin decorations.  Please do not be jealous.  LO was teething and cranky throughout most of the party. She did not enjoy herself that much.  

Yes, that blinged-out baby book that documents LO's first everythings looks amazing.  Where is yours, you ask? I'm working on it.  I promise that I have input your important milestones into my Iphone calendar.  I will soon fill in your baby book all at once. How practical! Do I get points for that time-saving trick? Didn't think so. But what if I use that extra time to stand behind you as you scale the stairs for the 189th time today and give you endless tangerines??

Yes, we have so many videos of your sis that make "Gone With The Wind" look like a teaser.  P practically had the camcorder attached to his eye.  And the camera - we have enough pictures of LO to tape around the entire Earth. We have less of you.  But they are gems.  You are a natural. And that's not fluff.  You have this serious look on your face in most that really capture your wisdom (or that may just be anger at being the second-born, never thought about that before!).  But, really, your hair stood straight up the first 6 months of your life and the pictures are a hoot. Just see the pictures for yourself.  You're a doll! (As for videos, don't you think pictures are a more timeless art form?) 

You are shafted.  No way around it.  And I'm not going to sugarcoat it. But there are advantages to being the second-born:

You get free and constant entertainment that your older sibling provides.  You watch LO as she pliés across the floor in her tutu and tiara for hours.  You're the best audience member during yet another performance of her "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" routine.  You are rarely bored because of her shenanigans. You are especially amused during LO's timeouts and frequent scoldings.  You already seem to take some pleasure when big sis gets in trouble. Maybe you still remember the time she smooshed your finger in the door.

You have another watchful eye on you at all times.  (Even when you don't want it -  but we are talking about the advantages here!)  LO has taken several small objects out of your grip that could have proved fatal (actually I'm sure that tiny pebble would have passed right through you, you are a champ at digestion.) She lets me know when you are going near the toilet (your favorite object in the house), nearing the stairs (your favorite pastime), or when you have your foot inside the fireplace. Overall, she is an asset in keeping you safe.

You have a bath buddy.  I'm not sure why I find this one so exciting but I do.  You two in the bath are the cutest. I give you matching funny hairdos and we all laugh.  You try to drink the water and LO tells you no. You get mad and splash water at her.  We laugh some more.  You try to escape the tub and we wrangle you back in.  It's a fun time for all.  What if you were in there solo? Not nearly as much fun.

You have indulged in a lot more foods than sister ever did at this age.  And by foods, I mean treats.  You have eaten cookies, chips, chicken nuggets (gasp!) and pretty much anything else sister eats.  I just feel bad that somebody else is eating this stuff in front of you.  So I give you nibbles. The other day, sister gave you some of her marshmallows.  Did sis ever get to eat marshmallows at 11 months? No way. Score for you!

You have a more relaxed mama.  I don't go around wiping everything down for you.  I don't freak when you eat a crusty Cheerio off the floor. I know what to do when you are sick.  I know what do when you are constipated (Yep - I got right-up-in-there and helped. Gross, I know. But didn't you feel better?) These are all things I have learned from mothering your sister.  She was the guinea pig.  You get to reap the benefits of a more experienced mother.

So what do you think? It's not so bad, right? There are advantages and disadvantages to being the second.  That is life, actually.  Good and bad aspects can be applied to most scenarios. And what I said earlier is true. You are our wise little "Milli" as we've nicknamed you.  You are a keen observer most of the time but your voice is heard. You are strong and sure of yourself.  You ask for what you need. So I am sure your wisdom will guide you in seeing the great aspects of being the second. And that wisdom will most surely lead you to know the absolute truth.  The clear, undisputed truth that you are loved and treasured in the same way your older sister is.  The truth in knowing you occupy an equally important spot in our family. And in our hearts.

I love you,

Your Mama