Wimp

My baby will never, ever be this little again. In the midst of all the craziness, good and bad, I remind myself of this profound fact. Each day she grows and grows. So when she shadows me and demands every morsel of attention, this realization gives me patience. So what if the house needs to be vacuumed (Cheerios jab the soles of my feet) or my eyebrows look like an overgrown forest. Let's go play kitchen!

Making time for myself has been a constant challenge since LO's birth. As she gets older though, it has become more of a priority to make Mama a priority. With P's support, I'm spending more time alone doing things that I enjoy. Hence, the creation of this blog. I have read 3 books in the last month (that's more than I have in the last 2 years) and taken a cooking class. Also, I am officially a regular movie-goer again!

I still have an addiction to Bravo TV, but it does not account for all my "ME" time anymore. I'm taking steps to become a real, whole person again. Not just a mom and a "Real Housewives of (insert any city because I watch them all)" junkie.

These are tiny steps but this is the technique of my choosing. I am not ready to make drastic changes. I enjoy waking up with LO and putting her to sleep and not missing much in between. It is what works for this mama right now.

Just as I am basking in the triumph of my personal challenge, LO decides it's time for her to become more of a challenge. We were coasting along when suddenly and abruptly the Terrible Not-Quite Twos torpedoed us. Help. Mayday!

I read the books and articles on child rearing. But some days I just feel like I've been kicked in the rear. No matter how much knowledge I attempt to arm myself with, there are days like today where it's all a bunch of hoo-ey! The expert advice fails.

At Target, a mother with a dribbly, sweet baby in the Bjorn, looked over sympathetically as LO hurled Elmo across the aisle. She sees what awaits her and doesn't seem terrified in the least. I know I used to be when I would see toddlers. I would think "Oh no, not yet, please God, not EVER." Yet here I am with a crazy one on my hands.

As calmly as a frazzled and embarrassed person can, I ask LO to please stop torturing Elmo and put him back with the rest of his posse.

"NO!" she retorts.

"Please, LO," I ask firmly but nicely (just as the book says).

"NO MAMA," she screams as she sprints off.

Now what, Dr. Child Expert??? I want a full refund.

How and when did this happen? I was the proud mom of a sweet baby like the one in the Bjorn. I would get "ohhs' and "ahhs" from strangers. Now I get cold, judging stares as I chase down my toddler. I must be doing something terribly wrong.

And then I remember we are talking about a 21 month-old. She is quite new to this gig called life. A mere 9 months ago she started walking. I can't remember ANYTHING noteworthy I have accomplished in the last 9 months. In that time period, LO has mastered running, learned a new language and picked up numerous hobbies. For the little time she has had on this earth, she has learned a lot. It's just too bad listening to her mother does not seem to be high on the priority list, and judging by most teenagers, it won't be any time soon.

So my not-so-expert advice to myself is to cut her some slack. And myself while I'm at it.

Au revoir
 (LO has inspired me to learn French)

P.S. Target Mom is not a mother of one child, but of four cute girls. She swore that it only gets easier the more you have. She said the first and second are "rough" but by the third and fourth, it's a breeze. "They practically take care of each other." I'll take your word for it.
But thanks, Target Mom, for making me feel better about being crazed with only one when you could have just called me a WIMP!  (Although you probably thought it. I would have if I were you.)